Could things get ANY worse for our family?!?!?!?!

Oh my gosh, what a DAY!!!!!!! Pre op took 7 hours, then we went back to the hotel, my mom was washing bottles, and felt a pain in her lower left back. It was getting worse very rapidly. She used the restroom, came out, and hardly made it to the bed. She was sweating, in pain, and could hardly talk. She was moaning, kinda crying, and wasn't breathing very well, from the pain. I had to call 911. I've never seen her look so bad. My mom was not looking so good. 2 fire trucks came, and an ambulance. They came in (about 7 people), and started an IV. They took her blood pressure, it was 132/92. Again, my mom was looking horrible! It was SOO scary! To see my mom suffer like that broke my heart. They took her in the ambulance, and I asked if they could give her pain meds, and they said yes. She has Kaiser insurance, so they took her to Santa Clara Kaiser. I gathered up the baby, and we headed out after the ambulance left. I got directions from the paramedic. When I was about half way there, I got a call from a 408 area code. It was the paramedic saying my mom wanted to talk to me. She sounded SO much better, and very drugged up. The morphin helped her 100%. She was telling the paramedics how cute they were...drugs will do that to you.

I called my dad, and he left his work, and drove here. I arrived at Kaiser and she was still doing better, and very drugged up still. Anyway, long story and I'm SO tired, but lots of tests, ct's labs, and they found 2 kidney stones above her bladder. She just now got back to the hotel, and she has to pee in a stainer every time she has to go. She will pass these, and it will be very painful. My mom was saying how sorry she was the whole time the paramedics were here, and I kept telling her to stop, because it is not her fault.

So, everything is ok now, except my mom who will be suffering when she passes these stones. OUCH!!! They said kidney stones are worse than labor. No wonder she was in so much pain. I had to remind her to breath, because she wasn't doing that.

As for my surgery appt today, Dr. Hanley will be going through my left side like my last 2 surgeries, which means to sternal incision! BUT, because of all the scar tissue on my left side, they said it could take up to 4 hours to get through it all, and if it's not successful, they will open me up through the front. This means I have to heal from 2 incisions. The other news is that I will be for sure recovering on the adult side. This is because I refuse to be rescheduled. I would go NUTS if I had to do this reschedule thing all over again. Dr. Hanley would rather me be on the peds side, but he is ok w/ this. His team (fellows) will come to the adult side to treat me, so it is really just the location that is a difference, not the care. Also, I am the second case, so I have to be there at noon. Surgery at 2pm. BUT, if there is no room for the morning case, who is a kid, then they will call me to come in at 8am for surgery. Does that make any sense??? SOrry, i'm tired, and on valium. I'm on valium because I started to NOT want this surgery after the surgical consult today. All the risks just started making me sick, and I'm just so scared of dying. I have to be here for baby Ross. He needs his mom. But, if I don't get this done, it will rupture, and I will die. My life stinks right now. I try so hard to stay positive, and strong, but today was my weak day.

Alright, gotta get some sleep, or try.